My day, by jv2k.
I awoke one morning to find that I had waken up too early. Twas the godless hour of 5am! I knew at the moment I looked at my atomic powered alarm clock that today was not going to be a normal day. I steped outside my door way to brush my teeth and wash my face when all of the sudden NINJAS ATTACKED!
There were 3 of them, all of them clad in black and blue with a logo on their shirt which looked as if it were writed in blood, it was a capital T. I easily defeated them by combining my morning breath with my trusty chainsaw sword Jessibel. But who were they and why were they attacking me? I soon realized that I couldn't brush my teeth today, my deadly breath would be needed!
I steped outside my house, it was cold, the snow had recently fallen and I could see my breath freeze into a tangible form. Its October though, while it can get cold at 5:30 am this time of year, it never gets like this, its cold as a witches teat! I looked up and saw the Imortal of Ice, Alcucard! He to had this T on his shirt. He must have been conected to the ninjas! I quickly used my deadly rotten breath and used the cold to my advantage, my breath had frozen and become tangible, I grabed it and threw it at Alcucard. I felt a bit of pity for him, the smell is bad enough as a gass, as a solid... it deadly, yet he cannot die.
He fell to the ground like a midget holding a cinderblock on a tall bridge who lost the will to live. I had him! I quickly ran to where he decended and began to interigate him. He was shivering, an imortal in control of ice, once considered a god by ancients, now shivering! It was almost funny if it wasn't so pathetic. I began to interigate him, at first he wouldn't talk, but after sticking 2 icicles of my deathbreath up his nose, he was willing to tell me everything.
It was just as I suspected! Mr.T was sending the ninjas, hes had a grudge against me since I beat up his homeless cousine for taking pictures up peoples skirts, he got a picture of my fist imprinted into his face. He had done it durring kilt day, everyone had skirts! As Mr.T came to his brothers aid, I ran, I wasn't in the mood to fight the loser. As I kept running I could hear him cry out " I PITY YOU FOOL! YOUR GUNNA DIE!". That was 20 years ago, I thought he had forgotten, but I guess he was just waiting for the perfect moment. Well, the time has come.
I ran to the T mansion down on the otherside of town, I knew it was gunna be an ambush, but I embraced that fact, let them come for me, 1 on 1 battles aren't fair for them anyway. I kicked open the door and saw them... 50 pirate ninjas, they attacked. I easily evaded all of their blows and quickly countered with my own.
One went down, then 3, 10, 18 more, until one was left standing.
He was scared, shaking, and drenched in either sweat, urine or both. I decided to let him go, I didn't need to fight him, I just gave him a mean look, and he went running.
I climed a straircase to the tallest room in the mansion, 43 stories up.I opened the doors to see Mr.T perched on top of a ledge, he gave me a big grin, and then jumped down. I then saw a helicopter take him to safety, there was a bomb in the building!
I had no time, my only hope was to jump out the window, but it was to high up for any mortal to survive... but I'm no ordinary mortal. I quickly pulled a wooden plank from a random floor bored and used it like a snowboard and slid down the side of the building. On the way down the fricton made the board caught fire, it didn't burn me though, I was wearing hot pants! I hit the ground at only 30 miles per hour, enough to hurt a normal man, but it only shook me up.
Mr.T escaped, but I knew I'd see him again, I went to my house and brushed my teeth, then baked some cookies. THATs how my day was!
