I obviously know that you're kidding, but if you badmouth Zelda or Fire Emblem, I'll beat the shit out of you with GARM.
Zelda? Oh man, sorry to break that to you but that was a crappy game. There was no hip-hop rap music in, instead this elegant symphony bullshit and you didn't go shooting things and blowing stuff up. What's the point? I've never actually touched a Zelda game, but they was all for NES and everyone knows NES is the worst video game console ever made. Even worse then Turbografx.
And Fire Emblem? Fuck that. I've never played Fire Emblem, but fuck it because it's Japanese and I'm too lazy to learn to read the katakana and hiragana. What a SELFISH game, making me learn another tongue. Fuck it.