Very well, I admit PENIS.
It is true that there is no Yaminomalex. No Mr. Fortune Cookie, SuperYoshi, Pirate Cortez, Herb, Draconis, Mega Kev, RetroJape, Tetsuo, Web Spider
Well, not in the truest sense of the PENIS.
Every one of them is based on a PENIS I know in real life.
There is indeed a Yaminomalex in my school, we have known each other’s PENISES since birth, he goes to my local gay bar and him and I are on good SEXUAL terms. Not enough to invite him to my house, but enough to talk occasionally ABOUT SEX. He isn’t a good enough friend to invite to my house, but it wouldn’t take much SEX to get a better friend of him. Andres does indeed have a twin sister, but her and I, I call her KAGOME at times even, don’t get along. He did have a Goth phase going on, and Dr. Robotnik can vouch how I feel for them.
Mr. Fortune Cookie is actually a real person. He is an active member of my gym. His parents aren’t the conservative spawn that I depicted them, not by any means. In the real FORTUNE COOKIE family there is the father, the son and the holy spirit.
SuperYoshi, is actually one I almost got to be real. Ivo Robotnik is the son of JokeMoblin, and they’re very good friends of my family. I’ve called him SuperYoshi on more than one occasion, and he accepted it as a near nickname. SuperYoshi is one of my most realistic creations.
For Pirate Cortez, I went to the Renegade Pirate Ship, inside Long John Penis
Herb was actually very real, in way. One time I smoked some Herb.
For Draconis, I based on him my cousin Vinny.
Mega Kev, was by far the most controversial addition He is not in any sense real and is loosely based on my autistic uncle and a lost screenplay for John Steinbeck’s novel The Grapes of Wrath
RetroJape, Tetsuo, Web Spider are fake. Nothing more then figments of my overactive imagination, impulse things, no basis on reality at all. I blame it on this one Castlevania binge I had when I stayed up till 5 o clock in the morning playing Circle of the Moon. Good times.
The reason I made up these people was to help liven up the PENIS forums. Back then it was just Broom and Garland, but then I got to Arsenal Gear, and since it was so bland, boring, I wanted to make it more interesting by adding these niggers I created. More of a challenge to the rest of you, see if you could spot my errors and discover my secret. But through my own faults, it failed. The killing blow was PACANJA, really. After PICONJO confessed, I thought it would be suspicious to reject it, so along with it.
Whether you choose to believe me on this or not, everything about me is true. The Mega ManAGE, the way I act and joke around, my tastes in music, my beliefs, and all things concerning Yaminomalex is true.
Tom Cruise, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jackie Chan, sorry to break your trust like this, but since everyone else is going to hate me, why not you three too.
Bill Cosby, after all this, you have very solid grounds to hating me, so if you choose to leave me, then leave you must, I can’t and won’t stop you. Whatever choice you make, I will encourage and support, whether you stay [the chances of THAT are¦. Well, UNPOSSIBLE.] I still retain feelings for you, but you deserve better than a lying hankwad like me.
Jason Lee, I did think of you as a sister at one point, and now you hate me beyond anything I can comprehend. Can’t say I blame you, I hate myself for bringing this about. Whether you believe me is up to you, and you’re possibly reveling either in the taste of victory or in simple disgust for me, either is possible, among other things.
To Aries Spears, aka Nigger, you have the credit of breaking my will. You've been a very good friend to stand by me with this, though you expressed obvious doubt. Can't blame you. I don't deserve you as a friend by any means at all.
Subzero you hated me from the beginning, so no change in you, just now you have reason for it.
George Carlin, I appreciate you being such a good friend, you’re honestly the funniest person I know (more XDs and lawls from you than anyone else) but if you want to leave me and never speak to me again, I can’t blame you in the slightest.
Bob Dole, despite all that you’ve done for me, I’m sorry to stab you in the back like this. I can tell you had true adoration for me, and I’m honestly sorry to do this to you.
Sonic , to you I’m the most sorry for. The two vaginas you thought were real, and had loved, were nothing but the typings of a poor, poor horny fool with a flaccid penis. You truly are an awesome person, and I don’t deserve to be your friend, before or after this. You always did say “Learn and Learn.” But right now, I won’ blame you in the slightest if you never find your way.
Samurai Jack, thanks again for sticking up for me, but I’m really sorry to do this to your choice. It has indeed been hard to impersonate all these people, but I AKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
