Ah, Skull....
I know what you're going through. Hell, I'm kinda going through it right now. [I didn't leave TPH temporarily because I wanted to.] And I must say that a week long break AT THE LEAST is the best thing you can do right now. It worked for me a bit ago. I had SOOOOO much free time after I left TPH and MSN, it wasn't even funny. I suggest that for you too, Skull.
But don't think you're a bad person. Don't trust what doctors tell you. It's one life lesson I've learned. Doctors said that after Phex nearly got his leg torn off he would need a wheelchair. Now he's up and running around, playing football. Doctors said that Lance Armstrong would never walk again. Look at him now! And I won't even bring up what they said I never could do yet have attained. I've learned to not trust doctors, and whether you do or not, it's not for me to decide, but just know that doctors aren't always the best ones for you.
Whatever may be happening, just know that many times it's temporary. Girlfriend a long ways away? It's not going to stay like that forever, is it? No, one day you'll meet up again, right? Bad marks in school can be a bit of a letdown, but hey, I'm failing my last course of math, barely passing social and English... well, I always do good in that with a minimal amount of effort, but still, I don't let those things get me down. I have two close friends that are on the brink of suicide, and however much that it scares me for what'll happen if one commits, cuz then goes the other [they're a couple, see] and even though that prospect worries me greatly, I don't show it at least, and I look at the positive side. If those two make it through til after high school, then they'll both get jobs, get married, and live happily. [hopefully...] You just have to see more than the bad things that are going on is all. Puttting it into perspective. I tink that's what may help, but hey, when am I ever right, hm?
Skull, you say you're not great.
You think of nothing but self-hate.
You can't focus on your work.
Your life is just full of hurt.
Don't think of yourself as boring.
Because that's better than whoring. [yourself]
I can tell you, you're very witty.
And I won't give you any pity.
Take a break, play with an elastic.
Trust me, it'll make you ecstatic.
Have a kit-kat, leave it all for a bit.
Because when you come back you'll be a hit.