You people need to stop paying attention to stupid shit.

[Swiftman]

Swiftman's bloody remains shape and shift, reforming into guess who, Nega Swiftman.

Nega Swiftman runs his Dark Tonfurs against each other with a kickass SHING! sound, then he dahses forward to NMX and begins slashing at him, dealing 37 cuts in 1.5 seconds, a new record.

Nega Swiftman then jumps backwards and transforms back into normal Swiftman, who pulls out a Dr. pepper, for lack of a n A&W Root Beer, and drinks, waiting for NMX to come up with the counter to Nega Swiftman's attack.

[Nightmare X]

All 37 slashes are blocked by Nightmare's Thanatos (A scythe thing), Nightmare is clearly not impressed, so he summons Trogdor to burninate Nega Swiftman while Nightmare sits down and reads a book titled "!??!?!?!".

[KingSpider]

KingSPider then comes in for no good reason besides Swift saying Canadian skin is better than Illuminati <insert "OMG RACIST" here>.
After watching Swift being burninated,KS flips out and kills a bunch of corpses, and then uses them to pin down Swift while he summons the pope and antipope to meet each toher which will from pur eenergy, enough for KS to kill anything.

[Jehuty]

.............. antipope?

[Swiftman]

Trogdor attempted to burninate Swiftman, but the flames were easily reflected by his flawless Canadian skin. Swiftman then picked up Trogdor by the arm and flung him at KingSpider, still burninating, and burninates KingSpider and collides with the pope and Antipope in a huge fiery explosion that was visible from space.

Nightmare X, still reading the book titled "!??!?!?!", was distracted by it's intriguing and wonderfully thoughtful material inside it, until Swiftman came over and very swiftly, without Nightmare X noticing, switched it with a book about yaoi fairy men.

[Monkeydog]

awwww...

I love you too NMX. <3

[Nightmare X]

However, the yaoi book Swiftman gave to NMX was instantly burned by random awesomeness, then the "!??!?!?!" book jumped towards Swiftman's face while making a "SKREEEEEEE" sound and began sucking Swiftman's life out.

Thousands of hundreds of millions of metroids then came and began draining Swiftman's life out, as Nightmare X confiscated the Ice Beam and any other form of Metroid Killing.

Nightmare X then used a Nova Bomb on Swiftman's drained body.

[jv2k]

*enters topic*
<_<
>_>
*throws buckets full of fish at people*

[KingSpider]

After absorbing energy from the resulting explosion,he turned into Soul Edge, which posessed him, made him go insane, and shout stuff like "Massacre!" and "Bloodbath!". It also allowed him to grab the already limb body of Swiftman and devour his soul and imaple him, followed by him forging Space Stalin.

[Swiftman]

While the metroids began sucking the energy out of Swiftman, Swiftman sucked the energy abck out of them, mimicing their own powers, the Nova bomb uselessly being repelled 1 cm from Swiftman's body by some unknown force of Alberta.

Now more powerful than before, the metroids sucked dry into useless space crap, Swiftman dashed in mid-air for the Soul Edge possessed KingSpider and used a Super Perpendicular Kick against him, striking King Spider in teh stomach and causing him to vomit out all possession of Soul Edge , along with a kidney.

Swiftman then flew over using his mastery of the Descently Arts and used Mega Batchin' Judo Chop on Nightmare X's neck, snapping his spinal column into 18 pieces and severing all nerveous connections to his vital organs.