--SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT--
The true ending to Harry Potter:
Voldemort gets sick and tired of Harry fucking with his plans, so he gets out a shotgun and kills him. Right after, however, the Hagrid date-rapes Voldemort, absorbing Voldemort into his mighty wing-wang, along with all his powers. The Hagrid can now use Avada Kadabra without a wand, only by stating "YOU'RE A WIZARD, HARRY". Suddenly, Dumbledore returns from the grave, and teams up with the Weasley, who calls out all of the Were-Weasleys (who in turn, bite Dumbledore, making him a Were-Weasley as well). In the final battle between the Hagrid and the Were-Weasleys, the Hagrid wins. However, as they are two sides of the same coin, and one can not exist without the other, the Hagrid is destroyed, taking the universe with it.
Oh, and I do believe Snape rapes Ms. Granger.
