TPH Forum
General => General => Topic started by: Swiftman on July 17, 2005, 09:30:45 pm
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I can't feckin believe it... I go back to my campsite for the week, and who happens to be in the site next to me? (besides the uber nice Richman)
Three girls, all around my age, all alone, just them, and they're all right beside my site. And they ain't bad to look at, either.
However, all of them but one hates video games. Only one of them likes them, and she hasn't had hardly any oppurtunity to play them. So, being the nice guy I am, I introduce her to some good ol' classics. Descent, Metal Warriors, GUNSTAR HEROES (I would introduce her to Privateer, but that game is very hard to get working.)
And so, she's very much enjoying Descent, and we're about to introduce her to Starcraft LAN parites. Me, Kary, Richman, her, all trying to swarm each other, it'll be great.
Me and Kary have even come up with a nickname for her already (ala how all members of my group must have before entry) and we all decided that her nickname will be..... *whispers* Drumroll!
:arrow: oops, sorry. *starts the drumroll*
Thank you. The gamer at heart that has never played more then 2 games in her life up until now shall be nicknamed: FARIS!
That's right. Faris from FF5. There isn't any real relation between FF5 Faris and real Faris, but it was a name that came to our head first, and it stuck.
So yes, in due time, expect a new member on TPH by the name of Faris. However, one reason she won't join now is that there are so many unfamiliar people on TPH, and that she is slightly scared of Trigger (mainly at his new method of defense from Kary, what with the rubbing lotion and all)
So, I'm asking you, the people of TPH, is to give Faris words of encouragement that may convince her to join TPH. She could use the wisdom offered in the depths of TPH, and some friends that can guide her down the path of gaming.
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I don't think anyone wants to go down MY path of gaming XD. I bash new games too much. Classic all the way for me*puts on foam finger*
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That's the way I'm going to, mainly. I'll try to distract her less from the good ol' oldies, but I'll start young and work my way up.
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Siwftman, if you're going to take all of your video games, why even bother camping?
But, it'll be good to see another member, even if it is another Candian.. *bricked*
Ye..., no wisdom here. Just don't tell her that all new games sucks. Because they don't. You need a nice mix of the classics as wella s the newbies.
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Word of advice, eh?
Ok then...
Look Faris, if you don't try to hurt me. I won't be forced to make out with you, and rub you with lotion as a defensive mechanism. ;) *Shot*
Look, we're all pretty ok people. Though we all have our quirks...ZELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Heh heh, ok but seriously. You will come to know me, and love me, as everyone else has.
NOW SUBMIT TO MY WILL!!! SUBMIT AND YOU WILL BE SAVED!! REBEL AND YOU WILL BE DESTROYED!!!
DIEDIEDIE JUSDIE ZELLLLLLLOOOOO!!! *goes on shanking spree, and spanks Kary in the midst of it all*
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Right, what he said, we're all pretty people, ok? So don't be afraid to post nu-*bricked*
Anyway, what Trigmonster says is true, you will lub all of us as a family, a derranged, socially inept family, but a family none the less.
Now, as for that shanking...
DOOOORRRRIIIIIFFFFTAAAHHHH! I challenge thee to a duel! *Kicks Trigger in the nards*
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*Balls of steel and is unaffected*
=^-^=
*Pulls the pin out, and throws a grenade into Lazlo's pants*
VENGEANCE!!!
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Flint-toed boots, don't you remember? *Sparks fly in Trigger's funsack*
...Now to dance the happy dance of get this freaking grenade outta my pants.
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AHA!! THIS TIME I wore a rubber insulation cup OVER them. No sparks this time!!!
*tosses in some dynamite into his pants, and a lit match*
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AHA!! THIS TIME I wore a rubber insulation cup OVER them. No sparks this time!!!
*tosses in some dynamite into his pants, and a lit match*
O trly?
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Im sure she'll get used to this place since we're all just jokers anyways
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Oh no! I forgot what topic this was! Maybe we shouldn't go about attacking each other's groins, Trigger.
BANZAI! *tackles trigger into a bottomless pit*
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Don't mind them, I'm Sophih!
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RRAAAAAAHHH!!!!11
*kicks Lazlo off, grabs a grapple hook, fires, and climbs back out of pit*
And..*huff*...there you have it...*puff*...kids....
...Don't mess wit da Sas...XD
But seriously, me an Faris have already Talked once.
It seems to me, like she's gonna be one of the few Level headed, and intellectual people here.
Should keep things moving, seeing as me, Skull and Lazlo supply the Crazy.
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Should keep things moving, seeing as me, Skull and Lazlo supply the Crazy.
Indeed.
MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Nah, I got nothin.
But its always good to see new people. Even if I am new here myself. *looks about in confusion* It seems like DriftImeanTrig already made a legacy for me here. *sigh* I shant not dissapoint you.
By the way, you know what?
Kevin Sorbo IS Hercules.
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seeing as me, Skull and Lazlo supply the Crazy.
AND WHAT ABOUT ME, HM?
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seeing as me, Skull and Lazlo supply the Crazy.
AND WHAT ABOUT ME, HM?
You and Morr Provide the Love interest.
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Good to hear.
I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE!
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Good to hear.
I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE!
(http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/3017/greenbikerdude8wv3nc.png)
((Note to Swift, if you can't see that image, It's one of Subtanks infamous pictures from the Great GBD revival of '05 (Started by Me! =^-^=) Of TGBD giving a thumbs up and saying "I am the Green Biker Dude, and I approve of this message."
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Yeah, I'm on Firefox, so I can't see it.
Anyways...
I am the Swiftman, and I approve of this message!
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I'd say more, but you know the story.
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i am quite level headed as well dont ya think?
I just found out who my roomate for college is, maybe he'll be interested in joining TPH
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You provide our gangsta influence.
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Isn't Herb the victim all the time? Rememebr that hostage thing?
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No, no I do not.
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Sucks to be you. It was awesome
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Well, that may or may not be the case, however, I found her a nice avatar, and she told me she'd sign up today. We'll see about that, Ferris, we'll see.(I do know I spelled it differently, I'm talking about Ferris Bueler, man!)
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Who's Ferris Beuler?
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=o you never saw Ferris Bueller's Day Off?!
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Nope.
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Me niether. Care to enlighten us?
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Ferris Bueller's Day Off (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091042/) is one of the great movies of the 80s, where some kids just stays home from school and does stuff. Watch it (http://static.thepiratebay.org/downloadtorrent/3332893.torrent/Ferris_Bueller_s_Day_Off_1986_DVDR_ISO.3332893.TPB.torrent). Seriously. Now.
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great band trip material.
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Ferris kicks but
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YOU SPELT MY NAME WRONG, MAEGRA! *cuts with broad sword*
Just kidding.
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LMAO! im talkign about Ferris Beuhlers day off! that kicked butt!
but faris, u kick ass also XP
*Blocks with Zetsabre*
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*jumps over sabre and slashs with broad sword*
HA! Take that! ^^
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HAH! Zetsabre = unblockable! its made of light! muahahha
*blocks again, and melts faris' broad sword*
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You can't melt Neutronium broad swords! *cuts through sabre*
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must be pretty heavy to swing then, considdering that a cubic foot of it ways the same as the sun!
*used secret Zero technique of Ryujinngeki*
*runs towards Faris' and does a flaming upper with sword*
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*throws sword at Maegra, hitting him in the face, which bounces off into the air, which is caught again*
You think Swiftman would let me join without some enhancements? He said once he get homes with is non-trackball mouse he was going to make a sprite of my new armor he made!
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(http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/9932/drifterfrot3hswarmzz9jo.gif)
*tackles both*
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*pushes off, then slices upwards from between the legs*
Neutronium can cut even balls of steel, Trigger!
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*clicks on his infested terran base*
*makes 6 infested terrans*
for the swarms eh? for the swarms? ill give u the swarms
CHARGE!!!!!!
*in the ensuing carnage Maegra gets asploded*
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However Faris didn't really destroy my Balls, she instead hit the titainuim shell of my Super-Catgirl Bot. When then ripped off her head and fed it to it's pet Cerebrus. Faris was then tied to a flagpole, and bludgened with a large spiked baseball bat. After being beaten to near death, and ducktaped comepletely, then the ducktape was pulled off, very roughly, removing all of her skin. Then she was diped in a vat of lard, which was then heated to a UNIMAGANABLY PAINFUL degree. Her body was then ripped apart, and scattered amoung all the lands of Scotland.
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I guess I can rightfully say I ARE PWNED
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*sends his Zerglings to burrow around scotland
'I will avenge thee!'
*gets asploded again by overly zealous infested terran*
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*Nukes Scotland*
FREEEEEDDDDOOOMMMM!!!
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*nukes the flutter*
ZENNNYY!
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I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON!!!
Nukes Canada.
Oops, what that a bad choice?
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DAMN STRAIGHT THAT WAS A BAD CHOICE!
*gets in Skiver*
HA! Taste the metal wrath of the Skiver!
*stomps on Skull a few times, then picks him up and throws him upwards. Flies up towards him, punching him sever times, firing a couple scatter packs in his direction, then brings fists down on his head, sending him plummeting for the ground at 3000 mph.*
Skull has left a small crater.
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I always wanted to make an impression.
Audience:BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
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*claps*
w00t!! That was awesome!!! Tell another one!!
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Heh...*somebody actually wants another?*
Ahem, hoookay.
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Ah yeah, well, your all a bunch of morons.
Yeah, yeah, you like a little abuse heh?
Well, you guys are sooooo stupid and ugly, that if there was a stupid and ugly contest, you'd all lose, or win. Which ever is funnier.
*gets nuked by angry audience.*
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I'm glad none of my fortresses have been in the path of all this wanton destruction.
How am I supposed to sell anything if I'm at sub-mantellean levels all the time, hmm?
Zaijian,
Tiger
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We all know to stay away from Io, Tiger. That's your area. However, they jsut go an nuke Canada, like it's nothing. Good thing Swift has all his space bases around. (all are his favorite levels on Descent. Fancy that.)
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*starts breeding space lurkers.*
next to send them to the moon, and many many many bases of the swiftman....
muahhahahaha
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Io, Europa, Titan, those facilities are all just part of my shipping franchise. You may be wondering what all the ordinance is for, but that's all thanks to the interstellar insurance consortium I head up. Fast, affordable, and (most important) delivery guaranteed. ::sunglasses flash::
Zaijian,
Tiger
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Europa? That's Swiftman's recreational planet! Can he have just the surface? That's all he uses. He jsut skates for miles...
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Can he have the surface? Of course. The local base is sub-aquatic, and closer to Europa's core, since the gravitational effects of the nearby gas giants are constantly compressing and releasing it, keeping it warm and cozy deep down. If he'll be skating, then yes, he'll have plenty of room as the entire surface is one huge sheet of ice. Just beware the canyons. They're nothing like what's on Earth and the lack of friction makes it far too easy to just... slip into one. o.O
Zaijian,
Tiger
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I was wondering if you were ever going to take Skiver back... oh well, to the LazloCave
*scene transision*BANANANANAH!
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Yes, I know of the cliffs, Tiger. I always have my Pyro-GX in remote control, ready to fly up and pick me up in midair if the need arises. Plus, it's fun to just plummet down a 2-mile high canyon.
And Lazlo, you can have the Skiver until further notice. I'm working on a miniture Nitro mech, plus the Pyro-GX is kinda the mood I'm in now, thanks to SOMEone. *glares at Faris, then smiles*
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Welcome Faris XD
Amd welcome back to me XD
Anyways, whats with the nuke spree???:P
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Trigger+Lazlo=nukes at SOME point in their conflict. It's just how it goes.
And hi there, Faris.
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Outer space sucks.
*blows up the universe*
Was that a bad choice?
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*In hell*
...Yes...Yes it was...
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*in purgatory*
Well, I'm fine. You guys got off hard.
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*also in hell*
Shut up.
*blows up hell*
Was that a bad choi*smack*
...
Was that a bad choi*smack*
...
Was that a *shot*
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*looks down on all of you*
"God, can't I help just a little bit?"
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*In what was once the universe* NOO!!! TEH LAZLOCAVE!
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Plus, it's fun to just plummet down a 2-mile high canyon.
Quite so... at least until you hit the bottom.
Zaijian,
Tiger
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No, he has a jetpak at the ready, and the Pyro-GX on call.
*is in purgatory*
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It was a general statement. :)
Zaijian,
Tiger
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He knows. He may act recklessly and halfhazardly, but he takes precautions.
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It's no fun unless you're in real danger, though...
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Danger is no good, the best is the assured victory to add to your pride :D Though I tend to mysteriously work better under pressure... >.>
*In Valhalla drinking with the Gods*
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*sits eating her bacon sandwich and watches with interest*
Hmmm...
*sends a swarm of pant-eating flying salmon minions to devour everyone's underwear* HAH! TAKE THAT! :twisted:
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*is not wearing underwear* Ha! Can't touch me, Bu!
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LOL! Nah, the salmony gods like you, they won't devour your underwear anyways ;)
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yay! *watches them devour Trigger's underwear*
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My work here is done... 8)
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Cool, those were chafing anyway.
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Lazlo seems to have a liking for nudity O.o
*still in Valhalla drinking MILK with the Gods* XD
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Naah, I like pants, they're comfortable and stylish. However, being naked does have it's advantages...
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DAMN RIGHT IT DOES LAZLO!!!
Besides It's too hot in my house to wear underwear most of the time.
WHOEVER DOTH HATITH THINE NAKEDNESS SHALT BE SMITE BY THE SASQUATCH GODS! (Me!)!!!
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*tries her damndest not to envision*
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*Uses his Pshycodelic mind powers to tap into her brain thoughts, and begins dancing around naked*
I'm alittle pony! Clippity clop clippity clop!!
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*breaks mind link and beats, then borrow's Broom's Warmech*
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v605/Swiftman/warmech.gif) What're you gonna do now, Trigger? No scythe can penetrate this armor, and mind link don't work anymore. I've developed an immunity to you!
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*Is doing nothing, but wearing pants this time.*
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I STILL HAVE MORE TRICKS TO USE ON YOU!!! MWAAHAHAHHAAHAH!!! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT YOU!!
Also....
*Mechjacks the WarMech*
MINE NOW!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAH!!! *goes on a rampage*
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HA! You think I would have let Broom have something with as much power as the Warmech without devising a means to take it down, in case he went AWOL? *opens slot in Skiver's shoulder, popping out huge gun-type thing* This Neutron jammer nulls all nuclear activity, and the Warmech is powered by a nuclear reactor! *powers up gun, then fires it at Warmech. An electrical storm swarms around it, and the hydralics in the Warmech relax, making it crash to the ground, comepletely inert*
Take that! MINION!
:arrow: *comes up inside guide-bot* What?
Call the mechwarrior minions! Tell them to surround Trigger inside the disabled Warmech.
:arrow: *calls up on radio* All mechwarriors! Surround and disperse!
*within seconds hundreds or powerful mechwarriors in verying styles of mechs form a dome around trigger, some flying above him in full-flight capable mechs, mostly Drache's, which have massive advantages on targets below them*
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Man, I need a ride. I need something sweet that reflects my personality and my views towards life and religion. I know!
Anouncer: And with the powers that be, Skull went and found a sheet of aluminum, and did some fancy transfiguration and other cool stuff to creat the Skull Chopper, a motorcycle with some cool little gizmo duddly bobs. Skull Man X and his new Skull Chopper, does he have what it takes to take on the mechs that seem to just cover the landscape? Find out next time on(statics out)
....okay. Well, LETS ROCK!!!
*drives down the road like a batouttahell*
YEAH HA!!! ARUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
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*removes self from Warmech*
Well then....*pulls out a Lego robot I made*...try this...
*Uses magical powers to make the robot 60 sotires tall, and real, powered by my imagination alone*
NYAAHAHAHAHAH!!
*stomps on all the mechs, and guns down all the flying ones*
*looks down at the skiver....and squashes it with one of it's 6 legs*
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Holy carp! The city is in trouble!
*turns around and starts driving towards the lego mech*
That thing is huge! It's like, 60 sotires tall!
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Shut up Skull! *smack*
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*summons a GIANT flying salmon (it's wearing a tophat btw) and rides around on it poking everyone with the large pokey stick*
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*Steals giant tophat and places it on Lazlo Manor*
Oh that's sexy.
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*poked with unholy amount of force, and salmonphobia kicks in*
AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! IT BURNS AND FRIGHTENS! *shivers in corner in fear of further poking*
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Noooo! The tophat! Life just isn't worth living without tophats :(
*breaks down and sobs her eyes out, gets over it, and magics up another, bigger, better, more awesome-ful tophat with anti-stealing measures*
*then grabs a megaphone and mwees loudly*
MWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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*pulls megaphone out of Bu's hands and beats with 2 socks*
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*screams and rollie-pollies out of the way, flicking salmon scales at you as she rolls*
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Skull, looking at the carnage, then at the rolli-polli salmon.
"That is creepy on sooooo many levels."
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If you think that was bad, you shouldn't have seen one msn conversation me and Bu had. That would spook anyone who saw it.
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I'm sure it would. I can't really creep people out....oh wait, yes I can, but I don't use fish when I do it. That's just....strange.
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Faris, those aren't socks, they're condoms!
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Oh my gawd, did I just say that?!
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Oh my gawd, you did.l