TPH Forum
General => General => Topic started by: Nightmare X on December 03, 2005, 09:15:35 am
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1. There are approximately 2 billion children in the world. Since Santa does not visit Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, this reduces the workload to 15 per cent of the total, or 378 million. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes.
2. Thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, Santa has about 31 hours to work with. This works out to 967.7 visits per second and a total trip of 75.5 million miles. So Santa's sleigh has to move at 650 miles per second.
3. Assuming that each child gets only a medium-sized Lego set (2lb), the sleigh is carrying more than 500,000 tons. A reindeer can pull no more than 300lb. Even if the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times that, Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload another 54,000 tons.
4. 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each; they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second, or about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 Gs. A 250lb Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015lb of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs.
5. Therefore if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
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Excellent.
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Pft lame, santa is magic, he can do it.
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Science dork.
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SANTA IS DEAD.
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Science dork.
He got this from WYHM.
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Nooooooooooooo!!!
*tear*
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*Backhands monkeydog in the back of the head*
You never quit do you.
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CJMErl: No-one quits here, Cal.
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Santa has clones all over the place. Or else he wouldn't be in all those shopping malls at once.
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Santa has clones all over the place. Or else he wouldn't be in all those shopping malls at once.
CJMErl: Quoted for truth.
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CJMErl: No-one quits here, Cal.
So, he still hasn't quit crying...
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CJMErl: Actually, I was referring to his beliving in Santa Claus (and it was a joke anyway), but...yeah, whatever.
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Santa has clones all over the place. Or else he wouldn't be in all those shopping malls at once.
I believes the elves did that Jehuty...
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The clones are there to kill you when all the Santas go crazy in the future.
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The clones are there to kill you when all the Santas go crazy in the future.
Santa has no clones.
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The clones are there to kill you when all the Santas go crazy in the future.
Santa has no clones.
Do to the fact he doesn't exsit in the first place.
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The clones are there to kill you when all the Santas go crazy in the future.
Santa has no clones.
Do to the fact he doesn't exsit in the first place.
You just rejected Santa doesn't exist, rejecting your first post.
Nooooooooooooo!!!
*tear*
I guess I got sense though to you.
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Santa obviously doesn't exist but he has a bunch of clones everywhere....... or wannabe santas.
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THE MACHINES HAVE RISEN
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I guess I got sense though to you.
Even if that sentence makes no sense?
I could have been saying Noooooo for any reason at all, I never actually said it was because I beileve in Santa, at all.
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I guess I got sense though to you.
Even if that sentence makes no sense?
I could have been saying Noooooo for any reason at all, I never actually said it was because I beileve in Santa, at all.
I meant to say "I guess I got sense through to you" but it seems I didn't.
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Santa is a giant mecha robot I bet.
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EASTER PLATYPUS
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The platyapus is in the same family as the echidna
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(http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/5015/595778743503fc18748d5bb6d0252e.jpg)
YOU'RE THE MONKEY NOW DOG!
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This topic fails because it forgets the truth about santa.
1000 years ago, crazy europeans were fighting the indians for control of the north poll. They Indian forces were lead by a man named chief Santa Clause. He was the greatest general of his era, being the first westerner to be trained by ninjas, pirates, and then pirate ninjas.
The odds were agains him and his rag tag group of warriers, but they didn't want to be ruled by the white people. So they fought and actually were winning for some time. The pirate\ninja\pirateninja skills of santa assured that the North Pole indians would keep their land. The european powers were forced to make peace, santas "mad skillz" as they were called were too much for them. The treaty of the north was signed.
Unfortunatly as with most treatys signed between white people and other races, it was soon to be broken. A gruff new military general came into power, his name...Hanukah Sam. It showed how desprate the european powers were, they hired the first and only jewish general for a long time to lead their forces. Hanukah Sam decided to send his forces to seige the north poll on christman night, december 25.
War once again stained the friged snow of the north poll. Santa was caught off guard and his forces were almost completly demolished as they slept. They were pushed far back into the poll of the north, where santa lead his last stand. The counters pulled by Mr.Clause were extremly effective. He was able to successfully push the invaders back.
It seemed as if the battle was won but Hanukah Sam expected Santa to push back that force, santa had run into a trap. Only santa survived, the whities wanted him alive.
As punishment for defending his land against European powers Santa was forced to have the children of his land work for an entire year and make toys. On the anniversary of his defeat Santa was forced to deliver the toys into the houses of Europe.
Using magic, the wizzard Merlin made santa imortal and gave him magic raindeer to make the trip quicker. His people eventually adapted to become all midgets due to mal nurishment and they still make toys to this day.
Now thats the story of Santa.
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EASTER PLATYPUS
Christman Kangaroo!
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Yami CJMErl: Don't make me send the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future in here!
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I'll now tell you all the truth. I killed Santa Claus.
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And that, my friends, is where babies come from.
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Santa Claus? o_O
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Yeah, what did you think, some lame BIRD brought them all? *shot twice*
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Yami CJMErl: Don't make me send the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future in here!
Yeah, then he'll make you listen to his story. For like 9 hours.
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Actually, daddy sticks his penis in mommy's vagina.
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EASTER PLATYPUS
PSYCHO EASTER MULE!
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Actually, daddy sticks his penis in mommy's vagina.
Hey! Those are my future kids you're talking about!*shot*
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My story may be ingnored but in a time of darkness one can only do this!
*smacks everyone in this topic with a giant glove made from the skin of 7 baboon asses*
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OWIE! *powders hand, then Super-Pimp Slaps JV@K for the assault.*
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*uses anti pimp slap spray he stole from batman and pulls out his trusty blender and procedes to attack*
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Actually, I tell stories like the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. I'm practicing for when I'm old and can drone on and on about pointless stories.
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*uses anti pimp slap spray he stole from batman and pulls out his trusty blender and procedes to attack*
YOU FOOL! I altered the powder formula! Your anti-pimp-slap spray is forever useless!*Charges up Nuclear Cowbell*
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Actually, I tell stories like the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. I'm practicing for when I'm old and can drone on and on about pointless stories.
Yami CJMErl: ...yeah, but can you produce smoke from out of nowhere like he can?
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CJ, you of all people should know how easy that is!
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Actually, daddy sticks his penis in mommy's vagina.
...Oh dear god my virgin eyes!
Please. No pervertion near me.
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Must... resist... you asked politely...
GRAHH! I CAN'T! I'LL DEFLOWER THEM!
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Jesus, and I'm a goth! saying jesus, HOW RARE!
*Leaves thread*
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No way you're goth and have virgin eyes.
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Well, I see no need for pleasure, I don't want to have to do anything with love.
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Yeah, but for certainly you hang around other goths, right? Goths of a feather flock together, or something like that.
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Black feathers from the wings of Ledah?
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Whatever helps you sleep at night.
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A pillow and a bed.
I don't live on the streets like you Lazlo. *Shot* =P
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I only live on the streets because I need to fight cr-- Err, what I meant to say was, I have things to do on the streets. I totally don't dress up in spandex and fight crime...
>>
<<
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I'll get you next time, Spider-Man.
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You'll pay for this, Captain Falconi!*shot*
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Super Arrow*
Err, at least, that's what I would be called...
>> HEh..
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Earth...
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FIRE!
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Wind
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Yami CJMErl: SPLEEN!
...no, I mean SEX! Yes, SEX and VIOLENCE! *FACE'd*
CJMErl: You beanbrain, you ruined the moment!
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Double E!
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CJMErl: Double-A!
Yami CJMErl: Triple-X!
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Byte gets the joke! Colin Mochere Vs. Jesus H. Christ is the best cartoon ever.
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CJMErl: I don't get it...but oh well.
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Yami CJMErl: Triple-X!
*anime headrub, then chuckles*
Why am I not suprised?
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CJMErl: Yeh, that's Yami for ya...always thinking about "teh nekkid b00bies".
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Thank God that some things never change!*laughs*
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CJMErl: Yesh...if there's one thing I enjoy, it's consistency.
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If you like being regular, then you'll love Metamucil.
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Yami CJMErl: XD!
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XD!
anyway... *finishes his OWN joke!*
By your powers combined, I summon Captain Falconi!
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Yami CJMErl: OHNOES*is vaped*
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SANTA DOES NOT EXIST!
Repeat it one thousand times, stab yerself, then say it one thousand times more.
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CJMErl: No thnx.
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Fine, say it two thousand times, run into a moving car, then say it fifteen thousand times.
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Yami CJMErl: NOES.
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Yes.
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CJMErl: Yeh, that's Yami for ya...always thinking about "teh nekkid b00bies".
Kasai's boobs.
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Ohhhhhkkkkaaaaayyyyyy...
I'm just gonna stand on the other side of the room now, ok?
*teleports away*
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Kasai's boobs.
Does someone like Kasai now? XD
Ohhhhhkkkkaaaaayyyyyy...
I'm just gonna stand on the other side of the room now, ok?
*teleports away*
You know you like it. XD
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*Burps rather loudly*
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Ever recorded yerself and took relised the megahertz (Or whatever sound things are called. XD)
30.0 was the highest.
I could only reach 25.5 ;-;
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O.O
Oh...My...
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>.>;;;
*Runs*
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Yamino...Why are you talking about my boobs....?
Wait wait wait...No...Dont answer that...I'm sure I dont want to know...
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BECAUSE.
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Because?
..Right..
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He likes you. XP
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o.o
No...Just...No..
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How would ye know? XD
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Well I really dont think he would like me like that.
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Who knows actually! *Stabbitied*[/Byte]
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I am women! I know all!
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The effects of systemic anamolies combining with the regions of outer space contacted with global satteliete does?
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>.>
Yes.
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Don't worry, I just put smart words together to form nothing of sense.
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v605/Swiftman/oh-no-you-didnt.jpg)
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I like swords.
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XD
Me too.
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NEVER PUT SALT IN YOUR EYES!
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Everyone knows Yamino wants me.
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You said that to me also.
And I don't love!
You think everyone is after you! XD
*Thinks to Jody's signature*
"Lock your doors this Christmas, Bush is going Michael Jackson"
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That's because everyone does want me!
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I don't.
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Sure thing, Milkduds.
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Only awesomness of Kasai can call me that!
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Really? Because I beleive I was the first to call you that.
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Actually Kassy did on MSN.
And she still calls me it sometimes...
AND HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT NAME!?
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Because I made it up. She saw it and stole it from me.
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Eugh.
I have no idea who started it.
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Hershey's Inc.
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Ah, the beloved birth of the candy bar picture.
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Famous TPH boobies that I have seen: Sophih's
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Errr, right, well there's a fire hydrant over there if you need to keep busy.
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(http://epiphanygaming.com/hosted/lenz/forum/style_emoticons/Yahoo/Confused.gif)
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Right, well don't mention that sentence about the "Boobies" please! x.X
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Calvat was totally undressing me in his mind.
Crap, are you a boy or a girl today?
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Lazlo, you are asking a question I don't know the answer too anymore...
And the undressing thing, I was reading 8 bit theatre at the time.
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Riiiight.
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Lazlo, I don't want you.
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Don't deny it, everyone does.
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Lazlo for someone who thinks everyone loves him, ye probably think that cause ye love yerself and think yer so hot and everyone wants you.
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...Yes.
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...Yes.
Indeed, I have figured yer quirks now.
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I had to skip through the whole conversation above in order to keep my IQ from being affected by your incredible stupidity.
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Calvat I told you lazlo called you milk duds first. You should really listen to me.
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Calvat I told you lazlo called you milk duds first. You should really listen to me.
>_<
>_<
I DON"T KNOW ANYMORE!!!!1
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Eh its alright Swift does the same thing.
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Heh, yeah...I think.
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Yes.
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Multiple cheese launching cannon.
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(http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b156/kasaifalconi/cheesecannon.gif)
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Woah, did you like just make that then? o_O
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Nope. Googled.
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Explains it.